The Slitherants: Vietnam, Nha Trang - Mon 26th April to Wed 28th April

Nha Trang…Ahh Nha Trang. Now this place was cool. The hotel we arrived at via a recommendation from the crew at Jungle Beach was awesome. A big roof top balcony that we spent many a minute sinking a few ‘Tigers’ and chilling out on. The rooms were tidy and it was right in the heart of the main city area. Kate, who is probably the smartest person I know just quietly, thought to Google skate shops in Nha Trang before we arrived. This was something I must admit hadn’t occurred to me and we were both surprised to see a skate shop had opened just two weeks prior to our arrival.

Now this next bit I’m going to write definitely has a skateboard slant but that is unavoidable I’m afraid as most of the time we spent in Nha Trang was spent sampling the many fine local skate spots. The skate shop was owned by a solid as bloke named Paul Trinh. Paul was an American of Vietnamese descent born and raised in Atlanta, Georgia. He had recently moved back to Vietnam to start a skate shop in a city with about five skaters. Brave guy. He was also as it happens a top bloke and within thirty seconds of meeting him, Jake and I had a ’skate date’ arranged for the following night. Sweet. Paul’s shop had some really nice stuff in it and anyone who skates that is reading this, if you go to Vietnam, go to Nha Trang, hit up Paul at Anchor skate shop and he’ll suss you out. But I’ll return to the skateboarding later.

On our second day we decided to go on a boat trip around the picturesque Nha Trang Bay and check out a few of the sights. Our tour cost about $7 AUD and promised exciting activities such as, a trip to the aquarium, snorkelling, lunch, local music, traditional singing and dancing, floating bar and a visit to a nice local beach for some sun and swimming. Holy Yassis!! This turned out to be a boat trip with a difference.

First of all, our host initially came across as a bit of a sleazy young buck who offered to rub all the girls sunscreen on and help them with their bikinis all the while reminding us that he was ‘single’. To start with I thought this guy was a chump and I didn’t hold much hope that our boat trip would turn out to be memorable for the right reasons. Thankfully once we got going, this guy kind of grew on us once it became apparent that he was more of an irreverent larrikin than a greasy sleaze merchant.

The first stop was the aquarium which was set in a building made to look like an evil pirate ship. This place was tacksville and even the fish managed to look embarrassed. To top it off the place was packed with about ten tour boats worth of tourists snapping away at the giant fish in tiny tanks and it’s hard to believe this place would have ever had a ’glory days’ that it could reminisce for. Packing thirty or so massive turtles in a tank that had more in common with a bathtub than a suitable habitat is never going to be cool and I was even starting to feel sorry for the hideous Moray eels!

Shock horror aside we continued our journey from here to an island across the bay that promised snorkelling and the chance to see lots of fish. What we got though was probably the worst snorkelling I have encountered. There was almost no coral and certainly very few fish so we were pretty disappointed. To top it off we were not snorkelling in a channel or off the beach, we had simply pulled up at a pontoon just off the beach that had about five other boats moored, a restaurant selling food and beer, and a cowboy run jet-ski operation. One jet-ski operator did give us all a laugh though when he came in far too fast with two tourists on the back. He tried to be cool and chuck a big rooster tail by the edge of the jetty but he instead succeeded in flipping the jet-ski and sending his clients flying into the water quickly followed by himself. The jet-ski was completely capsized and we were losing it as the poor unfortunates surfaced and the pilot was forced to rescue his ski rather red-faced.

At this point I thought it was going to be a long afternoon but thankfully things were about to turn around. Jake and I soon discovered that although the snorkelling sucked, the jumping off the upper deck of the boat into the water was much better. We amused our selves diving and bombing off the boat for the best part of the next hour and, wouldn’t you know it, once we started the other guests on the boat all decided to give it a try. Pretty soon people were jumping in all over the place and many a person was coaxed into giving it a shot in spite of their initially vehement protests.

Now I realise so far most of this boat trip sounds pretty negative but after we had a delicious lunch served to us on the boat things began to look up. We had been promised some singing and dancing, what I didn’t realise was that it was the people on the boat trip that would be required to do the singing and dancing! It turned out that ‘the band’ was actually the host and the other boat staff. The drum kit consisted of literally a bunch of old cooking pots arranged as a kit and the singing in particular left a lot to be desired, but it was all great fun. The host pledged to sing a song from every country of the people present on the trip and he set about doing just that. Once he asked where you were from, he demanded he join you on top of the table with the band to sing a song from your country with him. We had Germany, China, The Netherlands, we even had Russia! When it came to our little Kiwi corner I was hiding my eyes pretty well below the peak of my cap and as luck would have it, our host focused in on Jake. What followed next was one of the most moving displays of New Zealanderness I have ever had the privilege of witnessing.

Jake was literally dragged up there to the cheers of the mini UN assembled and to the relief ridden ‘pheeews’ of our contingent. Jake was asked by our host to perform, of all things, a haka! Not one to be easily rattled, Jake led the young Vietnamese host fellow in one of the most blood curdling, spine-chilling hakas that has surely ever been performed. All I can say is the All-Blacks ain’t got jack-shit on Jake and by the end of his performance the whole boat was cheering and clapping wildly, even if some of our more mild mannered Asian guests looked suitably terrified.

The next component of the trip was the ‘floating bar’ and this involves our host being attached to a floating bar like device, jumping in the water, throwing everyone else a life saving ring, and then proceeding to pour free drinks for us all to enjoy whilst bobbing around off the side of the boat. The boat trip had certainly improved and we all had a blast, splashing about in our floatation devices drinking cheap and nasty port tasting wine. All the while our barman/host shouted things like ‘up the bum, don’t tell ya mum!!’, putting everyone in a kind of ’this is so bad it’s good’ mood and as it was we all enjoyed the floating bar tremendously.

Alright so after a visit to a pretty average beach the boat trip ended and it was time for mine and Jake’s skate date. Paul turned out to be good to his word and we sampled a fine offering of Nha Trang’s many street skating options under cover of darkness. I will save you non-skaters the gory details but suffice to say Jake and I had a great time. Paul was pretty stoked to be having a ’real’ skate with a couple likely lads like us and ended up getting a bit carried away. He snapped his board on a perfect bank spot next to a bridge and it was time to go drink at his mate’s bar and dissect the skate session that just was. I had a pretty fun jam, Jake did too and even managed to squeeze in some photos and all in all it was a hell time. One thing I’ve learned is this; it doesn’t matter where you go, if you skate, and you’re not a dick to people, then the skateboarding brotherhood will always hook you up no matter where you are. Thanks Paul.
The next day, Jake and I spent the day drinking 50 cent cans of Tiger and watching skate vids at Paul’s shop whilst the girls sunned themselves down at the beach. Perfect. We also managed to make a few small purchases of essential items just for good measure. Paul then took us out, courtesy of the skate shop account, to the best seafood dinner I have had in a very long time. Local knowledge means getting local treatment rather than the usual tourist fare. Paul took us to a place with mouth watering BBQ prawns, crab that we were able to pick out of the tank before sacrificing for our dinner and squid that was simply the best I have tasted anywhere. Thanks Paul-you’re a bloody good bloke! We were all genuinely sad to be leaving Nha Trang as we had had such a great time but Kate and I had vowed to drop in again on our way back down Vietnam in a couple of weeks. After our amazing dinner it was time to head to the train station for our twelve hour overnight journey up to Da Nang and the tailor’s paradise town of Hoi An. Twelve hours on a train overnight with Jake and 50 cent beers, you know it’s going to be fun. But more about that next time. ’Til then.

Local seafood restaurant.